I was talking with my grown son the other morning and he was telling me about his friends that are going to have their first baby. They are so excited; reading tons of parenting books including, Help! My Baby Came Without Instructions, talking about baby names, cribs strollers and everything they will need. I know they will be greatparents! But my son was telling me he was worried that once they have the baby their friendship, get-togethers and emails will be few and far between.
And of course, I said, “No, that doesn’t always happen.” But it’s happened to him before and he misses his friends. It’s not that they aren’t friends anymore; it’s just that they don’t have the time or energy they used to have. And many times they’re scared to leave the baby for more than ten minutes. If they do actually feel comfortable with a night out, all they talk about is their little miracle. While this is all perfectly normal, taking a break is so important. And enjoying your friends and the activity you are doing is a must. Ten minutes of baby talk and picture showing should give you your fix to enjoy the rest of your time out.
Being first time parents brings about a new normal. It’s the greatest thing that can ever happen! And there are so many changes to your daily life. Especially those first few months when eating, sleeping, pooping and changing diapers rules each day. And let’s not even talk about sleep deprivation. The last thing on most parents’ minds is getting out of those sweats, calling a friend and taking a break.
I have had the honor of taking care of over 1000 babies, toddlers and their parents for more than 35 years. And the one thing I know for sure is how important it is to take time to be with friends. To have guy’s night out, girlfriend time, and a date night….a time to just have fun! Please take that “G” word out of your vocabulary – “Guilt” because you are leaving the baby. You will be a calmer, happier and more confident parent if you remember to take care or yourself. And a fun night out is just part of the equation. But I will save that for another post.
When you look at your baby, you marvel in wonder at this little miracle. But let’s face it, leaving your baby for the first time can be absolutely frightening. And moms, even when you leave him or her with Daddy, you still may be a little nervous. Check out Baby Jake’s post about the list for daddy when he watches the baby. I promise it will help. But I’m getting off the subject here. No matter who will be staying with your little precious, choose someone that you can trust, knowing they’ve had lots of experience with babies. You want to walk out the door and at least make it to your car without calling! Seriously, the more comfortable you are with the person, the easier it will be.
So why don’t you start planning a monthly get together with your friends. Go to a movie, a happy hour, a sporting event or even an hour at Starbucks. When you go out, try making this rule; you will only call home once. The first time is the most difficult. I promise it will get easier. Being a parent, a wife, a husband and a friend will make your heart smile. Having a baby is the greatest!
For more parenting information, visit my website: http://mybestparentingadvice.com
And remember, if you have any baby or toddler issues you just can’t figure out, I can help. Call my office to schedule a coaching appointment. 480-510-1453.
Blythe Lipman, President and Founder of Baby Instructions based in Scottsdale, Arizona, is a nationally recognized baby and toddler expert, a parenting consultant, an author of three award-winning books, Help! My Baby Came Without Instructions, More…Help! My Baby Came Without Instructions, and Help! My Toddler Came Without Instructions, a teacher, a caregiver, a keynote speaker, a blogger AND host of Baby and Toddler Instructions, a weekly Parenting Internet talk radio show which airs live every Wednesday at 11:00 am EST on itunes and toginet. She is owner of the online parenting magazine My Best Parenting Advice and the site Baby Instructions.
My Best Parenting Advice: “Coochie, Coochie, Coo” by Blythe Lipman