My Best Parenting Advice: Start Here by Sandra Beck

Recently I was asked by a group of women in recovery how do you start? Where do you start? What do you do first? 92b550306c6f3af4c79d9169d1414529What does it mean to take care of yourself?

This is not that uncommon a reaction especially from women coming out of long-term marriages or having spent the last decade raising small children.  We as women, and some men, get so enmeshed in the needs and wants of others that they get totally disconnected from who are they are and what they want and need is so under-exercised that if you ask one of these people what they want and need, they are stumped.  I know I was.  And if you don’t understand this, that’s okay you have just never gotten so far away from yourself that you are disconnected from yourself.

Years ago, I stood in the mirror shortly after that doing some Louise Hay exercise which would probably helped if I hadn’t been in such a state of disorientation. I was supposed to look in the mirror and tell myself I was proud of myself. My hair was a wreck, my eyebrows were all over my face and the old t-shirt and sweatpants told a different story.  I had pulled my once glorious hair back into a bun leaving my worn, drawn face pinched and severe.  I was proud of this? I was proud of myself?  That was the first good laugh I had had in a long time.

I looked closer in the mirror and thought, Who the Hell is That?  It was a version of me that was un-groomed, un-kempt, over-fed and under-exercized.  My complexion was dull and my eyes where smudged with dark shadows from lack of sleep.  Yeah baby, what am I proud of?  Getting up? Surviving.  Well, yes actually I was. So that was something.   I could look in the mirror and see a worn-out almost 40 something train-wreck or I could look at myself and see a warrior who survived and was ready to make changes.

I had gone through death, divorce, foreclosure and building a company on a shoestring all by myself in just under two years.  Not bad.  But I looked like it. Every day of fear, stress, anxiety and distress was stamped on my face, woven into my dingy hair and sat on my ass with an extra 20 pounds. I looked worn out and ready for the trash heap. I know looks aren’t everything, but when you are a women and you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see its really hard to feel powerful, take risks, be the best you can be and start over.   The sad thing was I didn’t know where to begin.  I looked at my feet.  Toes, I thought.  That’s a good place to start.

That day I sat down in my bathroom and gave myself a really good manicure and pedicure.  I couldn’t afford to go to a salon at that point and I fought with myself the whole time.  Why are you doing this? Who’s going to notice your hands and feet? Who’s going to care?

I am. I said it out loud. I care.  And that’s how it started. With a simple emery board and a bottle of polish I stated to the world that I care about some silly toes. But it wasn’t so silly when it started me on my journey of polishing my inside and outside and it lead me to where I am today.

Where do you start- just pick one thing. It can be big like therapy or small like toes. And then a week later add another.  Read a self-help book, stop the inane beat up chatter in our internal monologue at least once a day, or sit in a park and cry like a weirdo until there are no more tears.  I did that too. Probably scared the happy mothers as I cried with my two kids running around. Or maybe the people looked at me and got it.  Who knows.

The point is, it doesn’t matter where you start or how – just that you do!

My Best Parenting Advice: Start Here by Sandra Beck


Empowerment, this is the through line through all of Sandra Beck’s work. Whether she is coaching a company owner to a million dollar commission goal, training a stay at home mom to perform SEO on web sites or speaking to a group of women who are in domestic abuse recovery, her message is about what is possible and how to create the circumstances of your choosing. In a time when technology has the ability to transcend physical limitations, Sandra Beck teaches all of her clients how to maximize their lives by using the power of the internet coupled with the drive of their passions to create the lifestyle of their dreams. Her goal is to give all women the opportunity to reach their fullest potential with respect to their many different roles. Sandra Beck is the president of Motherhood Incorporated. As an Author, Coach, Speaker, Radio Host, Entrepreneur and Philanthropist, Sandra Beck is as successful as she is busy. The single mother of two young boys has created a virtual empire of successful companies entirely staffed, managed and implemented using a host of virtual assistants and on-line resources. She is also the author of a wildly successful blog Author of Motherhood Incorporated, The Smart Woman’s Guide to Working From Home with Just a Computer and an Internet Connection and Blogphoria – How To Reach Millions of People without Spending a Dime, Sandra Beck is a powerful voice in the Social Media Arena as a popular Internet Brand Strategist. She is also the author of the romantic comedy four part series For Sale in Beverly Hills, They Call me Shikse, Jews don’t Camp and Gopher Flats. Sandra Beck is currently the host of two live Radio Shows: Military Mom Talk Radio and Poweredup Talk Radio. Her show Motherhood Talk Radio is now in syndication and this show, as well as her other live shows, are available on Itunes. An active contributor and participant in many charities, Sandra Beck strives to make the world a better place for today’s and our future’s children. Near to her heart are Toys for Tots, World of Children and Children Uniting Nations. Sandra Beck was born in a small town outside of Buffalo, New York. She attended Northwestern University and earned both her Bachelor’s Degree in Journalism and her Master’s Degree in Advertising.