Loving unconditionally is the process of allowing children to be who they are and loving exactly what you see in them. It has nothing to do with control and everything to do with freedom. It is the ability to celebrate your child in their uniqueness.
The way to unconditional love is to be a silent observer. As a parent the role of the silent observer requires honor, respect, and a keen level of awareness. There must be an absence of negativity, judgment, and preconceived notions. Set aside your negative belief patterns in order to support your child’s individual beauty. This role is about connecting with your child in an intimate way, giving yourself the time to observe what they love and what brings them joy. When parents are able to take on this role, the sacredness of parenting is revealed. This selfless act preserves and encourages individualism as well as self-respect and inner trust.
Watch to see what brings our child emotions like joy, frustration, interest, and confusion and love those things about them–the way they are–not the way you want them to be. To love unconditionally, we love with no strings attached.
Children absolutely must be given unconditional love in their early years. Parents who feel that they themselves did not receive this kind of love may have a difficult time figuring out how to break the cycle, but it can be done.
Dr. Vincent J. Felitti of San Diego, California studied this effect. His report is called “Adverse Childhood Experiences” (ACE). It defines the kinds of harmful experiences that may affect a person’s health throughout life. The message of this study is that parents should set examples of what it means to be loving, nurturing, and empathetic. Knowledge and prevention of ACEs should be a universal goal of all caregivers. Please see acestudy.org where you can obtain further information about identifying and healing Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).