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My Best Parenting Advice: Thinking about Thoughts by Sandra Beck

SandraB ,

I have been reading about thoughts lately.  I know that sounds a bit weird, but when I was in court a few weeks ago I watched this grandmother talking to her grown grand-daughter about how thinking too much gets her in trouble.  I remember my own mother telling me that in my teens.  “Thinking is good,” she said to me, “but, thinking too much will get you in trouble.

 

I have also been quiet lately- talking less since my radio shows are pre-recorded for the summer months – and listening more.  I listen for message from the universe, from people far wiser than me and from the littlest sages children.  They are unknowingly wise.

 

What I have come to understand about thoughts is that they do directly affect how I feel.  I also learned through a bizarre example of the human condition that the past is really a collection of thoughts that come up and affect our mood.  I was listening to a woman speak about her husband who was head injured and lost his memory and that he was very pleasant to be around after the traumatic event when before he was a nasty old coot!

 

I experienced this with my own paternal grandmother who truthfully did not like me very much because I was a skinned-knee, outspoken, loud tom-boy and not at all the picturesque delightful little German girl in white socks and black shiny shoes.  But, when my grandmother succumbed to memory loss, dementia and health issues that robbed her of who she “thought” I was, we had a delightful time pouring over magazines in the nursing home commenting on hair, fashion and of course…handbags.

 

This experience and listing to my mom and the woman in the courthouse got me thinking.  What are thoughts anyway?  Interpretations of events.  Are our memories simply a collection of thoughts about a particular time, place and event and if erased do we lose the pain carried forward by them.  I emphasize the pain because I think we all remember painful things more clearly than happy times.  Its part, I think, of the human condition.

 

Then I thought about the future.  Planning, guessing, worrying and thinking are yet another collection of thoughts.  These thoughts can make me feel happy, sad or anxious or excited. Even over the same event. Let’s examine this with dating.

 

Past thought: Divorce hurts and I am not married anymore. (feel sad, lonely, scared)

Past thought: Divorce hurts but I am free to create a new life. (feel excited, happy)

Future thought: Divorce hurts and I have a date Friday. (feel nervous, insecure, scared)

Future thought: Divorce hurts and I get to go on a date on Friday. (feel excited, happy)

 

Okay so what we have here is the same situation but with a variation on the thoughts and feelings associated.  See how each one can affect mood?

 

Well since thoughts can be changed and thoughts can be chosen, doesn’t it stand to reason that monitoring our thoughts – thinking about what we think – knowing that the past and the future are merely thoughts – means we can really have a better life by staying in the present?  Thinking about what is going on right now.  Making the best of it. Enjoying what we have. And all the while knowing that what happens today will be tomorrow’s memory and was yesterday’s future?

 

It’s a lot to chew on.  It’s taken me over 40 years to figure out what it means to be present. I thought being there was enough, but now I get that thinking about the past and future are just a collection of thoughts.  I now limit my past and future thinking to only what is necessary to get things done with respect to living in the now.

 

So my mom and the grandma in court were right.  Of course, the irony is, I had to think about thinking in order to figure it out.

 

Bouncing with Style is all about realizing when we know better we do better.  Thoughts can be changed.  The future and the past are just a collection of thoughts and monitoring how we and how much time we spend there can make the difference between a bad day and a good day right now!

My Best Parenting Advice: Thinking about Thoughts by Sandra Beck

SandraB

Empowerment, this is the through line through all of Sandra Beck’s work. Whether she is coaching a company owner to a million dollar commission goal, training a stay at home mom to perform SEO on web sites or speaking to a group of women who are in domestic abuse recovery, her message is about what is possible and how to create the circumstances of your choosing. In a time when technology has the ability to transcend physical limitations, Sandra Beck teaches all of her clients how to maximize their lives by using the power of the internet coupled with the drive of their passions to create the lifestyle of their dreams. Her goal is to give all women the opportunity to reach their fullest potential with respect to their many different roles. Sandra Beck is the president of Motherhood Incorporated. As an Author, Coach, Speaker, Radio Host, Entrepreneur and Philanthropist, Sandra Beck is as successful as she is busy. The single mother of two young boys has created a virtual empire of successful companies entirely staffed, managed and implemented using a host of virtual assistants and on-line resources. She is also the author of a wildly successful blog www.motherhoodvoice.com. Author of Motherhood Incorporated, The Smart Woman’s Guide to Working From Home with Just a Computer and an Internet Connection and Blogphoria – How To Reach Millions of People without Spending a Dime, Sandra Beck is a powerful voice in the Social Media Arena as a popular Internet Brand Strategist. She is also the author of the romantic comedy four part series For Sale in Beverly Hills, They Call me Shikse, Jews don’t Camp and Gopher Flats. Sandra Beck is currently the host of two live Radio Shows: Military Mom Talk Radio and Poweredup Talk Radio. Her show Motherhood Talk Radio is now in syndication and this show, as well as her other live shows, are available on Itunes. An active contributor and participant in many charities, Sandra Beck strives to make the world a better place for today’s and our future’s children. Near to her heart are Toys for Tots, World of Children and Children Uniting Nations. Sandra Beck was born in a small town outside of Buffalo, New York. She attended Northwestern University and earned both her Bachelor’s Degree in Journalism and her Master’s Degree in Advertising.

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